quiet,
unassuming
it lays dormant,
passive.
am I able to
silence and ignore it for long?
just have it buried,
locked,
and somehow
forgotten?
oh no,
it feeds,
gathering strength,
it grows
waiting,
timing,
planning,
to rear its hideous head one day.
just when everything feels perfect and happy and done
then, crash!
it starts ---
once revived,
it spreads,
it cuts,
it poisons.
within a dark
enclosed space
dank and solitary
i mark time
and experience life
pulsating around me
constantly
bombarding my world
with impurities
from this vast unknown
with contaminants unrelenting
notwithstanding the carapace
protecting my core
i brace myself
and fortify my home
smothering the intruder
with a constant nacre
of warmth and compassion
until the unwelcomed transforms
to become my beloved
and from within my unattractive form
a precious beauty is miraculously born
With him there is no beginning nor any end,
always just a long overdrawn out middle
full of maybe's and conscious hesitations ---
fearing the claws of men's righteous institutions.
We're on a perpetual tightrope everyday you see,
keeping their many judgmental spotlights at bay,
we jumped in with no safety nets, no insurance policy
just a silent promise, and a mutual understanding,
to fall in together, to be dauntless, and someday be free.
You
are both my happiness
and my sorrow,
pushing me to the edge
of my sanity
to taste
the wondrous fountain
of joy
and the sweet temptation
of pain.
