Lost Years

  

The years we lost

before and after we found ourselves

face to face once again, 

after two decades 

The years after we stitched those dreams together 

and the years before those same dreams 

suddenly ended; abandoned

not knowing if they will be ever owned again

The cracks in between promises 
made out of the fragile trust between friends, 
built over words 

uttered in confidence 
so many memories ago

cherished once, but now hanging worthless 

amidst poisoned air 
trying so hard to sound sincere and clever

Your eyes betray you 
along with your trembling hands 
that couldn't get enough cigarettes 
to burn one after another 
as if you're always running out of time

I might have known all along 
yet I still played the fool 
choosing to hold on to the painting on the wall 
the idyllic picture I painted of you and I
and what we could have been together

I was foolish 

to dangerously ignore the malicious entity 

that had always been there 
lurking just beneath your benevolent pretense

hiding a deceitful and cruel mind, 

always ready to choke me and leave me lifeless
the minute there is nothing more for me to give
and nothing left for you to take