You Know

You might have already known
Even before you officially know
Because of the way he meets your eyes
And the demeanor captured on his face
The coldness emanating in the room
The way he moves in your shared space
The lack of connection, the emptiness
And the bitter taste it leaves your soul
It is hanging in the air and in plain sight
The severed threads of your once married life.
- Mars🥀

After All

am i not enough?

do i have to do more?

too busy to care

too close for comfort

abuse, betrayal, lies

hey, big bad wolf

look me in the eye

colors of autumn

painted the sky

as the sun sighed

and said goodnight

up all night

emotions running wild

my whole body shaking

heart hurting and tired

i have tried so hard

to make you happy

but you never cared

to see me at all

then i find out that

you gave all your energy

to someone else before

maybe one day

i can wake up fine

content to be alone

realize that i don't need you

after all.

Lost

I think I have lost my ability to dream

Burdened by my past, present and my future grind

I don't recognize the person in the mirror

Weathered, wounded, I see no more hope in her eyes

She dreads the day as if it's another prison

Clipped and exhausted both in body and in mind

Tormenting her soul from the demons of her past

Feels alone lonely and in perpetual defense

Her thick armor feels heavy and wearing her down

Her lone companion in the struggle to survive

There is no one to trust no one who chose to stay

Always grasping for straws trying to stay afloat, remain

Let me sleep, let me rest, just let me find that peace

Carry me away, release me, allow me to just breathe

Let me find that special place where I can just be

Quiet.  Relax.  Escape.  Sigh.  Release.  Fade away.  

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